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I rank it right up there with Superman coming to the rescue of Gotham City, Dirty Harry wiping out crime in San Francisco, and Gunga Din continuing to blow the bugle while shot full of holes. Roger Clemens is coming on to the scene to save the New York Yankees. Is that a tear streaming down the face of the Statue of Liberty?

He did it in his usual quiet and modest manner, from the press box during a game, with a stadium full of adoring Yankee fans on hand. He didn’t exactly say “here I am you lucky people” but he came pretty close.

His timing was superb as Yankee fans were watching their pitchers get racked up. Even the automatic Mariano Rivera has been mortal in the early going.

I flashed back to Apollo Creed’s entrance when he fought Rocky Balboa, with James Brown belting out “Living in America.” The only thing missing was Roger being lifted by a crane to the press box with Yogi Berra on his shoulders. Just how did the Yankees miss that symbolism about the Rocket carrying the Bronx Bombers?

What a ham. The only thing missing from there being a ham sandwich was the bread.

And just how did the Rocket arrive at New York City as his destination?

He said it was because he missed his good buddies Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte, Joe Torre, George Steinbrenner et all. That one must have put a lump in the throats of all Red Sox fans.

The Rocket seemed almost choked up when talking about his former teammates, manager and owner. Ah the good times.

Rocket’s impromptu press conference finally put an end to the 2007 version of “where and when is Roger Clemens going to pitch this year?” Was the John Kennedy assassination a conspiracy, who killed cock robin, which came first the chicken or the egg, and where will Roger pitch? Four of the great mysteries in life. You get the feeling the first three will have been solved before the fourth one is in the rear view mirror.

I believe the move was all about location. Roger was absent the day they taught geography in Katy, Texas and might have just come to New York to be closer to San Diego than he was in Houston. After all, he did leave Boston to get closer to Texas and ended up in Toronto.

The Rocket loved his New York buddies so much he is only charging them $4.5 million a month for the privilege of saving them. It’s a good thing he likes Jeter, Pettitte, Torre and Steinbrenner. Imagine what he would have cost if he didn’t like them?

Rocket, do us all a favor and retire. Take your tired act into the Texas sunset.

With that not an option for the 2007 season, may both you and the Yankees fall flat on your faces. The two biggest gluttons on the planet deserve each other.

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